Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can I color on your dick again?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
