sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
