Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
