I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize