Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
