hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
