I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
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I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on