we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE