i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i believe in u and ur pee