you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
