He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize