I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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