best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
