I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
