just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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