Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
