if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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