Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
