the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
