I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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