You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
