I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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