Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
