riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
