there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I deserve this hangover.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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