I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
