Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize