Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
