you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
