I CAN MOONWALK!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
