and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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