He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
