So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
