I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
