He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she smelled like a LAN party
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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