I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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