As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
