Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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