I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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