dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
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