The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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