Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
