I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
