1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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