If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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