you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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