do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
