Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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