Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
