mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
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Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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