Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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