It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
