He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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