i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize