we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
