I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
