I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
