i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
