I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
