You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
did i walk over a car last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
