chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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