I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize