But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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