You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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